Don’t Feed Sad—Two Out of Three ain’t Bad

Skipper’s Smokehouse, University


Some places are just fine for one thing and downright bad for another. I don’t mean in the way that the gym is fine for pumping iron but bad for cruising for hookups. I mean how a place that hypes itself as several things may excel at one or two of those, but could downright suck at a third or fourth. This seems to be the case for Skipper’s Smokehouse.

I found Skipper’s while Google Mapping restaurants in the region of northeast Tampa. My wife is employed in that area and there were a few nearby spots we’d be visiting, so I thought I’d see what vittles could be dug up as well, should we find ourselves hungry when en roam. They are a college town watering hole known for outstanding food, a wacky architectural layout, and live music acts.

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Skippers Smokehouse stood out to me partly because of its menu, but also because it’s known for live music and a rollicking nightlife. Now, my wife isn’t exactly a fan of the latter, but we both enjoy a good live show. Since we were in the area on a weekday afternoon and there was no live show performing, I figured it’d be a good opportunity to try their food without the chaos of a concert crowd.

We headed over and found the place with no trouble. If it stood out from the crowd by its menu and as a live music venue, Skipper’s Smokehouse stands out from the neighborhood with its sore thumb architecture. We couldn’t miss it if we tried and we snuck up on it from behind. It sprawls behind a janky row of shops that face North Nebraska Avenue (U.S. Highway 41.)

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Skipper’s is one part shanty town, one part beach shack, and one part commune. You feel like you’re simultaneously in Haight-Ashbury, Hobbiton, Haiti, and a honky tonk. It was pretty impressive and I imagined getting lost in the maze of fence panels and planks within five minutes of my first six beers…were we here for a good time, which we weren’t. We were here to feed and cool off.


Skipper’s Smokehouse – Restaurant and Live Music Venue
910 Skipper Road
Tampa, Florida 33613
Phone: (813) 971-0666
Hours:
Tuesday to Friday – 11:00 a.m.
Saturday – 12:00 p.m. to
Sunday – 1:00 p.m. to
Closed on Mondays
www.skipperssmokehouse.com/


We went in through the out-door and found our way to the front desk where we were greeted and shown into a small dining room that resembled an Ozark boathouse. We sat and cracked the menus. After a few minutes, our server arrived and took our drink order. Several other customers were about—a few at the outdoor bar, some at the indoor bar and another couple shared our shack.

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Skipper’s website claims “Award-winning Floribbean cuisine – A fusion of Caribbean, Florida,  and Louisiana flavors.” I like all those things and was excited to get molar deep into the spice and everything nice. And award-winning is always a plus, be it James Beard or even Zagat, or…Travel Channel? Uh oh.

Skipper’s Smokehouse menu was fairly extensive for its outward appearance. An insert specified that today’s smoker wood was sea-grape wood. I was tempted to get something smoked that day to see what sea grape smoke did to meat, but other options won me over. I decided on the Smoked Fish Dip, because Smokehouse, and the Blackened Grouper Reuben Sandwich “As seen on Travel Channel’s Best Sandwich In America” with hush puppies, daddy. 

Now, I know from experience to not trust any claims of quality based on having been featured on a TV show and I had never seen Best Sandwich in America, but I did know from glossing over online reviews that this is Skipper’s Smokehouse signature sandwich, so I decided to give it a whirl, despite my misgivings about blackened fish.

I also decided to give their devil crab a try to add to my collection. Christa got the fried catfish sandwich “served on a cornmeal dusted kaiser with tartar sauce, lettuce, tomato and a spear of kosher dill pickle.”

Their drinks selection is extensive as well, with cheap domestic drafts for $2.50 as well as craft and microbrews in bottles and draft. The prices seem a bit high for some (I’m looking at you, six dollar Guinness Pub Draught can) but reasonable for others. I got a miller light bottle and Christa got a sangria mentioned by our server. The sangria arrived in an eight-ounce plastic cup with the fruit on a skewer. It was likely bottled, not house mixed, but Christa really liked it.

All food is served on styrofoam plates with plasticware and, though there may be a point to arguments made about the environmental impact of such, from a customer service and atmosphere standpoint, I didn’t mind—it fit the scene.

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The smoked fish dip arrived with the devil crab after a reasonably short wait. The dip was not what I was expecting. Instead of a smooth pate of smoked fish with something crunchy like pita points or garlic toast to dip into it, what we were served was a scoop of flaked smoked fish that looked like tuna salad complete with diced onion on a lettuce leaf with a wedge of lemon. The little pile was dwarfed on the foam plate by an array of individually wrapped saltines. Nuts to me for having preconceived notions.

I pulled free one of the two plastic knives that were plunged into the mound and spread a lump of the smoked fish salad onto a cracker. It was tasty if a bit dry. I suspect it was their famous smoked mullet. Christa thought it was delicious and helped me polish it off. In a nutshell, it was okay if a bit misleading—I’d rename it smoked mullet salad served with saltine crackers. In a place like this, why put on airs with fancy terms like “dip”? Maybe salad is too fancy, too. Smashed Fish with crackers.

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I broke into the devil crab. Hmm. What is that? Rice? It looked more like arancini with tomato sauce than a devil crab. I took a bite, but I’ll be damned if it even tasted like crab, let alone contained any. There were peppers and herbs and what looked like broken rice mixed with tomato sauce. The breading was thick, but was fried to a lovely, crisp, golden brown and had a nice flavor, but the filling was nothing resembling crab and a poor example as only my second devil crab in Tampa. I ate it because I don’t like to waste food.

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We polished off the apps—that is, I polished off the apps—and soon our sandwiches arrived. The Reuben looked fantastic and smelled wonderful. Although I distrust the use of blackening spice because it is sometimes used to disguise bad fish, I love the aroma. It looked good tucked within the butter toasted swirled rye as the melty swiss oozed out over the white flakey grouper. A cohort of golden hushpuppies stood on the sidelines.

Christa’s catfish looked nice, fried golden brown it was a full filet that overhung its cornmeal dusted kaiser roll. Another plastic knife pinned a red tomato and leaf of iceberg lettuce to the top bun. The cooks are a bit stabby, today.

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I pulled half the Reuben from its twin and couldn’t help but smile as the thousand island (Russian would be a plus) dripped with the kraut juice and blackening spice. I went in for a bite with gleeful anticipation and…meh.

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I’m sorry, but meh. First of all, the flavor of the grouper, delicate as it is when fresh, was completely lost in all that fat and blackening spice. I should have expected this, but I mistakenly gave too much credit to Travel Channel opinion and figured (in my menu-description-fueled disclarity of thought) that the other flavors would make up for the loss, but that is ridiculous reasoning on my part. Why then include the fish at all? All I could taste was the blackening spice. 

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The hushpuppies were the bigger disappointment. They were unseasoned, extremely dense, dry, and tasted more of wheat flour than cornmeal. And as I’m finding more and more common these days, there was no whole kernel corn inside. I guess that little glimmer of joy is gone with my youth. Some diced jalapeno was mixed in and brought a little savory to the deal, but it was so solid and lacking in corn flavor that I just did not enjoy it.

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Christa’s sandwich was good, the catfish was seasoned well and fried crispy, the tartar sauce was okay and overall it was a serviceable sandwich. She liked the pickle spear, too. But it was not enough to save the whole experience. She’s had just as good and better elsewhere and decided it was not enough to bring her back. The coleslaw was just terrible. I mean, it was fresh, but there was nothing else going for it. It would have saved them food cost to skip the mayo and just send out a bowl of shredded cabbage.

I know they must excel somewhere with their food. This place can’t just be a spot for college kids to get lit to live music and for one-stop tourists. They’ve got a sizeable seafood menu and some of it has to be tasty. Those gator ribs for instance, and at $15 a rack, that’s a steal over pork ribs from most places. Maybe their raw oysters and steamed shrimp and crabs are where it’s at.

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I need to give them a second chance, but I just don’t know when. In a town as littered with restaurants as Tampa is, there’s not a lot of opportunities to give second chances; I’m missing out on a potentially better place by trying a mediocre experience twice. The reviews are a mixed bag, but having eaten there, I can see the roots of truth for some of the negative comments regarding the food.

About one-third of everything we had was either poorly executed (bland and tough hush puppies, bland and dry slaw, not-so-crabby devil crabs) or poorly designed (delicate fish smothered in spice and fatty condiments.)  I’m going to overlook the grouper sandwich as just a difference in my taste versus others’. Again, the catfish sandwich was fairly good but it is simply a battered filet on a bun. And aside from my misinterpreting the dip, the smoked mullet spread was tasty if somewhat dry. I’m so sad about that Reuben because it looked so good. The beer was cold and Christa enjoyed her sangria.

Novelty notwithstanding, a standard corned beef Reuben would have been better. The bold pickled beef flavor holds up better through all the sour cabbage, cheese, and fatty dressing. The blackening spice is also too much for the mild fish—every nuance gets muddled in a mix of chaos that’s total is less than the sum of its parts. It was disappointing, but not terrible. It has an okay flavor, novel, but certainly not award winning and I was compelled for the moment to check out the episode of that Travel Channel show it was on. I still haven’t. Hold on, let me see if it’s on Youtube…

Here you go. Hmmm, I guess Adam and I simply have different tastes. Then I found this other episode. I might have to go back and try those gator ribs, though the “five-pound hunk” in that video look four times the size of the ones pictured in the menu nestled in their little basket.  Regardless, I have to disagree with Adam—that Reuben is [beeping] meh.

As an aside, Adam Richmond has an odd voice and delivery for broadcasting. How did he get this gig? Holy cats, Adam Richman went to Yale Drama School. Good for him.

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Here’s the straight dope: Skippers is a music venue with adult beverages and a kitchen. Go into it with that in mind and forget anything you’ve heard about “award-winning” this or “Floribbean fusion” that. As music venues go, I think they make some okay food to absorb all those beers, Jack and Cokes, and Jager Bombs you’ll be downing while jamming to The Crystal Ship (or whoever it is the kids listen to these days).

They have a great happy hour special if you like Budweiser and wings, so a visit then for drinks with a bite could be an evening well spent and decently fed.


Happy Hour Special
Dine-in Only
Tuesday to Friday 4:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.
20 oz. Bud, Bud Light draft beer 2.50
Wings
15 wings – 9.99
30 wings – 16.99


We left Skippers amused with the architecture and decor but disappointed in its culinary performance. As a source for some beers and a little live entertainment, I’m sure it excels. We’re not looking for gourmet here, just quality and delicious. As a destination for tasty vittles, our experience left us feeling like we missed the show. I’ll keep eyes peeled on their schedule for any bands of interest and maybe use that as an excuse to return. Otherwise, it will stay in mind as a novelty stop for a cold beer when passing through.